


I Love You, Truly

by theRadioStarr



Series: Lost In Thoughts [8]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Pseudo-Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-16 07:45:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7258750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theRadioStarr/pseuds/theRadioStarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>I've been meaning to tell you for so long... You are my precious wife now. It is my honor and duty to keep you safe, at all costs.</em>
</p><p>Also known as: the story of how Xander fell in love.</p><p>Thanks to thefamousegg for being my early beta!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The throne room at Castle Krakenburg was oddly quiet as they waited for their Father to join them.

Xander stood at the far right in the line of his siblings, looking more calm and collected than any ten-year-old needed to be. Camilla stood to his left, holding hands with their baby brother Leo, whose other hand was held by their stepsister, Azura. He was well-behaved at the moment, thankfully; perhaps the tension in the room was enough to make him realize that things were serious.

Their father had been… _different_ ever since Arete, the second Queen of Nohr and Azura’s mother, had died. Where he had been warm, loving, and jovial before, he was now cold, ruthless, and stern beyond compare. Xander didn’t know what had happened or how to change it, so he had chosen to ensure that his siblings would be protected from their father’s new wrath, instead.

One thing that hadn’t changed was King Garon’s belief in strong education. It was unlike him to have their studies suspended – or delayed for a few hours, even – for anything other than a matter of dire importance. Knowing this had all of them on edge.

He was about to ask Camilla how Leo was holding up when a door off to the side of the hall swung open violently, banging loudly against the wall. They all jumped, and Camilla immediately bent to calm Leo before he started to cry.

The first people through the doors were about a dozen guards, their footfalls ringing heavily through the cavernous room. They took their places along the wall, and then their father entered, flanked by his retainers. King Garon didn’t look at his children until he was seated on his throne. His gaze was cold and distant as he stared at each of them in turn, finally settling on Xander and staying there.

Xander did his best to hold his father’s gaze, but what he saw there now frightened him more than anything else. His father had been so _warm_ before; he still remembered being hoisted up onto his shoulders so he could reach the jar of sweets on the top shelf by himself, and the booming, jolly laugh that would infect everyone around him, including Xander.

He missed those days.

Xander cleared his throat quietly and stepped forward before speaking. He clasped his hands carefully behind his back, which forced his back straighter and his shoulders to sit more squarely.

“We are glad to see you returned home healthy and whole, Father. How went the peace talks?”

Garon grunted and shifted his weight on his throne. “Don’t pretend to be interested in the politics; you’re much too young still to care. Ask your real question if you expect a real answer.”

Xander bowed his head for a moment and took a deep breath to steel himself. “Father, I may not understand the politics yet, but as the crown prince, I most certainly _am_ interested. However, I do have another question for you.”

There was silence for a moment. Garon nodded slowly as he listened to Xander speak. “Then ask.”

“Well, Father, you take our studies very seriously – as do we, of course – and so we found it unusual for you to cut our study hours this morning short for a meeting. We expect this means you have grave news for us.”

Garon turned to look at Iago and nodded towards the door he had entered from. Iago bowed before turning and leaving the hall. Garon didn’t speak until he was gone.

“You are as observant as ever, son. I do have news for you all – both terrible and grand.

“Our trip to and from Cheve was uneventful. King Sumeragi, it seemed, did not trust us to act in good faith, and tried to take advantage of us. The situation became heated, and we fought. The Hoshidans were beaten, and King Sumeragi was killed. It seems the Great Dragons do not wish to give us peace, after all. A pity.”

Xander stared at his father in shock. There was no emotion in his voice to suggest he actually felt any remorse.

“I am especially glad to see you returned home safely, then, Father,” Xander answered finally.

“I am no pincushion,” Garon answered. “It was I who struck Sumeragi down. The remaining Hoshidans lost their nerve seeing their King bested, and fled. Cowards, all of them.”

Silence fell over the throne room. Garon looked over towards the door again, as if he was anxious for Iago to return. “We scoured the place looking for any Hoshidans who may have been lying in wait for an ambush. When I returned to the fallen ki-”

“Apologies, my liege,” Iago called from the doorway.

Garon _harrumphed_. “Enter.”

Every set of eyes turned to watch Iago walk into the throne room – until they saw the young girl, maybe only three or four years old, being half-dragged along behind him.

Xander thought he heard Azura give a small gasp. He turned back to look up at Garon. “Father?”

“I found her crying over Sumeragi’s corpse for her ‘Daddy’ – such a terrible father, to bring a young child with him when he intended to attack us. Since we had routed the Hoshidans, there was no one to take her home. The wolves would have gotten her - I did her a favour.”

Iago stopped in front of Xander, and Xander turned to look back at the young girl still holding his hand. Her hair was a deep dusky blue, pin straight but wildly tangled; he was sure she hadn’t seen a hairbrush since she’d been found. She looked at the floor in front of her feet meekly.

Xander held his hand out towards her, and she finally looked up at him through her lashes. Her eyes were a deep crimson, a little more almond-shaped and spaced a little more widely on her face than his and his siblings’ were. She had a small little pouty mouth with a little black beauty mark just under the left corner, and her nose was smaller and narrower than his. She didn’t quite look Hoshidan, but she certainly wasn’t Nohrian.

Iago let her go, but quickly put a hand between her shoulderblades and pushed her a little too forcefully toward Xander. He caught her, and she looked at him with wide eyes. He offered his hand once more, and she took it, holding on tightly.

“She will be residing permanently in the Northern Fortress,” Garon continued. “We don’t know anything about her as she refuses to speak, so I expect you will tell us when you find anything out. Your lessons will resume and continue at the Northern Fortress, as well. She will be treated as family.”

Odd, that this girl was to be welcomed into their fold, when Azura (who was their actual stepsister) was not allowed anywhere near them aside from lessons and meetings such as this. Xander didn’t mention it, but bowed his head again dutifully. “You have our word, Father.”

“Good.”

“Before you go, Father, may I ask – why is she to reside at the Northern Fortress? Can she not have rooms at the castle with the rest of us?” It was Camilla who spoke, and all eyes turned to her. She bore the weight of their gazes gracefully, even for a girl so young.

“We found her crying over the dead body of her father, who was so full of arrows he may have been a quiver,” Garon answered. He seemed to be growing impatient, and was clearly not impressed at being questioned further. “We’ve already sent mages to set up a stronger magical fortification there, so that she may rest in peace to heal from such a traumatic experience.”

“Thank you, Father. I am sorry for questioning you.”

Garon _harrumphed_ again, and then dismissed them all, sending Xander and his sisters back to the Northern Fortress for their lessons and Leo back to his caretaker.

The little Hoshidan princess clung to his hand the whole way out to the road.

“Would you like to ride on my back?” he offered, kneeling in front of her. She looked at him silently for a few seconds before scrambling on, her arms wrapped around his throat. He stood and held her legs for her as they all continued to walk.

“Azura? Is something wrong, dear?”

Xander looked over to find her looking away from them rapidly, embarrassment colouring her face. “N-nothing.”

There was silence for a while as they walked. Xander let the girls get ahead of him before finally deciding to try speaking to the young girl clinging to him.

“What’s your name?”

She answered by burying her face into the space between his neck and her arm. He laughed a little at that.

“It’s okay, little princess. Tell us when you’re ready.” He turned his head so that his ear was pressed against the top of hers. “I know you’re scared and hurt right now, but I promise we’ll help you feel at home here. I’m Xander – I’m the oldest.”

He felt her stir, and turned his head to face forward again. He could feel her breath on the side of his neck, which told him she’d looked up again finally, so he used his chin to point at his sisters on the path ahead. “Camilla is my sister with the purple hair, and Azura is our stepsister with the blue hair. She’s really shy, too. And we have another brother named Leo, but he’s too young for lessons with us still. He was the other young boy with us when Iago brought you, do you remember seeing him?”

He could feel her nodding.

“Don’t worry, little princess. We’ll keep you safe.”

He smiled when he heard the first little snore in his ear that told him she was asleep.

 

*                             *                             *

 

It was about four months after she’d been brought to Nohr that they first heard her speak.

Xander and Camilla had already been up for a few hours by the time they arrived at the Northern Fortress. They were early, because they didn’t know what else to do with themselves. They’d been woken by the guards outside their rooms to make sure they were still present and alive, only to find out that Azura had been stolen from her bed.

The only logical explanation was that the Hoshidans had come to reclaim their lost princess, and had made a mistake – or a trade, one princess for another. Their father didn’t seem too upset about it, but _they_ certainly were. Xander couldn’t help but wonder if his father would have reacted so coldly to any of the rest of them disappearing.

The entire trip up to the Northern Fortress, Xander wondered how they would tell the young girl whose name they still didn’t even know. She had got on surprisingly well with Azura, and very quickly, though she still refused to speak, even to her. She seemed especially fond of the songs Azura would sing to her quietly.

Xander reached the door to their classroom and held it open for Camilla, following her in and closing it softly behind him.

“Good morning, darling.”

There was a _pitter-patter_ of bare feet on the stone floor, and Xander turned around to find the young princess staring up at them with wide eyes and a happy smile.

“Good morning, little princess.”

She looked at them both, and her smile started to fade. Surely she could see how upset they were; Camilla’s eyes were still red from all the crying she’d been doing, and looked to be about to start again at any moment. Xander grabbed her hand gently, and Camilla squeezed it back before dipping her head onto his shoulder.

He hugged her properly, then, and missed the sight of the little girl looking around the two of them towards the door.

“Where’s Azura?”

Camilla and Xander looked at each other, shocked, before looking down at their adopted sister.

“Is she sick?”

If he hadn’t seen her mouth move, he wouldn’t have believed it; he had honestly started to worry that she was mute. But there she was, looking scared and confused all over again, and he couldn’t leave her feeling like that.

Xander let Camilla go and knelt in front of the young girl. “I’m so sorry, little princess. She was… she was taken from us in the night. Some bad people broke into the castle and stole her from her bed.”

“She was taken away? Like me?”

“What do you mean, dear?”

Crimson eyes darted between the two of them for a few seconds of silence. “My Daddy brought me with him so that we could have a vay – vac – some fun time together after his meeting, just me and him. But then your Daddy killed him and took me away. Was that why Azura was taken away? Did they kill your Daddy?”

Xander shared a pained look with Camilla – this was a _very_ different story than what their father had told them. “No, our father is still fine. They only took Azura. The guards were busy trying to make sure the rest of us were safe, and couldn’t go after her.”

Little shoulders slumped in a sigh. “I miss her.”

“Us, too, little princess.” He held out his arms to her, and she walked into his embrace. He hugged her tight, and let her cry until she pulled away.

She wiped her face on the back of her hand and sniffled loudly.

“You know what I’m happy for, though?” She looked at him, and he managed a smile for her. “You’re speaking with us now!”

Her tiny, pouty mouth quirked into an embarrassed smile. “Mhmm.”

“Will you tell us your name?”

“Natalie,” she told them quietly after about ten seconds of silence.

“Such a lovely name,” Camilla cooed.

Xander stuck his hand out , and when little Natalie put her hand in his, he shook it. “Nice to meet you,” he said very seriously, which made her giggle and blush.

Natalie looked between the two of them once more, taking her hand back and folding them in front of her. “Will you read with me?”

“We’d love to, dear.”

“Lead the way, little princess.”

 

*                             *                             *

 

Xander was concerned to realize she’d forgotten it all within a year.

She had no recollection of being Hoshidan, or of being kidnapped, or of Azura’s existence. He often wondered if there was some sort of extra layer to the magic that was used to create the barrier that surrounded the Northern Fortress like a giant, invisible bubble that made her forget all of it.

Still, he had to be grateful for that, to a degree. Whatever shyness she felt at being out of place had long been shed; she was a bright and energetic young girl, and unendingly outgoing. Her compassion and generosity seemed to know no bounds.

She also seemed to be in awe of him.

Because of this, they grew very close, very quickly. Over the years, he helped her train in all aspects of her education: he had been her tutor, her musical accompaniment (truly, she was far more talented than he in that regard), her dance partner, even her supporting actor in her drama readings. So it only made sense that he would teach her swordplay, as well.

Her style was defined from the very beginning. She was light and lithe, but she picked up very quickly on where and when to strike for maximum efficiency. He could remember when she was younger that she had loved their history lessons, because she was fascinated with the idea of Hoshidan samurai; her fighting style certainly reflected it.

They would always train together after dinner. It was the perfect time, when the castle was winding down and the high heat of the day had passed. If they weren’t tired by the time they picked up their blades, they would be by the time they tossed them down, and if they _were_ tired when they picked them up, it simply served as better conditioning and discipline training.

Some nights, after having been given orders from his Father that he disagreed with, he would have to be very careful that he didn’t beat Natalie into a bloody pulp. Some nights, he would return to the castle so angry that he refused to even train with her, and would play the piano with her instead until it was time for her to sleep.

Those nights, he would stay up late, swinging his sword in the dark with a fury unrivalled. He used the time to reinforce his own beliefs, and kept the faces of each of his siblings, and Natalie, close to the forefront of his vision.

Sometimes, on nights like these, he could feel eyes on him as he cooled off. Only once did he ever witness the last candle going out in Natalie’s room.

That night, he redoubled his efforts.

 

*                             *                             *

 

Xander took a deep breath as he rode back towards their small camp. He felt a little shaky. If he’d been even seconds later, his little princess might have been dead. As it was, he was looking forward to speaking with her, so he could find out what had gone wrong. He suspected Hans had something to do with it, but it would be best to be thorough.

He _knew_ his Father wasn’t just sending her on some simple scouting mission. How did he not expect that the Bottomless Canyon would be swarming with Hoshidans? He was glad he’d had the sense not to trust any of it. If any ill had befallen her…

Xander was so caught up in his thoughts about sitting down to talk to her over a pot of tea that he didn’t notice Jakob running up to him until his horse stopped short.

“Lord Xander? _Please_ tell me that Lady Natalie is with you!”

Xander frowned more deeply as he shook himself of his daydreams and looked down at the man. He looked pale, and shaken, not to mention out of breath; he was clearly in a great panic.

A sense of dread settled over Xander. “Jakob? What do you mean? You left with her, did you not?”

“I did, my lord, but we got separated. I thought to reunite with her back here, but apparently Lady Natalie and Gunter failed to return.” Jakob panted frantically. “If she’s not with you, I fear something terrible must have befallen her. I must set back out and-”

“No, Jakob – I need you here in case her and Gunter _do_ return. I shall turn back and see what I can discover.”

“Lord Xander, I implore you-”

“I will be fine on my own, Jakob, though I thank you, as ever, for you diligence.”

Jakob looked torn, but finally conceded. “Yes, my lord.”

“Thank you.” Later, Xander would be impressed by how well he kept his head in this moment. As it was, he was sick; he knew, just _knew_ , that something terrible had happened, and it was all he could do to keep his lunch down. “Camilla, Leo, find Laslow and Peri and have them send word to my personal spies. I want any and all rumours of Natalie’s whereabouts reported back immediately – to me. Ensure that our people in Hoshido are especially aware of this.”

“Niles still has connections, brother. I’ll have him put them to use, as well.”

“And I’ll ask the same of Beruka. We will find her,” Camilla promised.

“Good. If I’ve not returned by morning, you know what to do.” He didn’t wait for a response; before he even realized he was moving, he was back down the path and around the corner, out of sight of their camp.

The ride back to the Bottomless Canyon was short at the pace he’d set. He was careful crossing the first bridge. _Are those holes new?_ He bent down to examine them, and felt his stomach turn. _The edges aren’t weathered like the rest of the panels… definitely new. Gods, don’t tell me she fell in…_

No, he wouldn’t, _couldn’t_ , just make that assumption without checking the rest of the field for signs first. He continued across on foot, guiding his frightened horse carefully until they stood on solid ground again.

“Wait here,” he murmured, stoking her nose gently a few times before stepping away. He was under the shadow of a small fort. He knew that she hadn’t come through this way, but he had a very strong feeling that looking around here would lead to something important.

He walked the perimeter of the fort slowly, keeping his eyes peeled, and stopped when he felt something unfamiliar beneath his boot. He stood in place for a moment to compose himself – it could have just been a buckle that had been knocked off an opponent, or a broken arrowhead, or _anything_ , really.

Except it wasn’t.

He stared at the hair clip in his hand for a solid minute, shocked and disbelieving and reeling. He’d bought it for her for her thirteenth birthday, and she’d worn it every day since. It was just a small thing, square, made of polished bronze with black onyx accents.

He could still see her bright smile as she’d pulled it from its little box and pinned it in her hair that day – until the vision of the memory shattered, and he saw the little pin in his hand once more, covered in mud, the pin warped.

His hand closed around it, painfully tight. If not for his tough leather gloves, the pin surely would have stabbed his palm. His right hand drew his sword instinctively as he looked closer at his surroundings.

Fresh footfalls – there. Not far away. The dead grass was parted as if a body had rested there, but not for long, and then-

Two narrow, parallel lines dig into the dust. As if someone had been dragged away.

Xander’s vision coloured red. He felt as if he were suffocating, his breathing shallow and quick. It was too much, he couldn’t-

He roared, swung his sword in fury – they had taken her, she had been _stolen from him_. Someone would _pay_ for this. He would return to his horse and storm Hoshido, how _dare_ they take his little princess away?

_I will get her back if it’s the last-_

A heavy gust of wind shook him from his thoughts, but he was too full of rage to think straight. He spun quickly and raised Siegfried, but he was quickly thwarted: first he was clipped by a wing and knocked to the ground; he roared again, and the wyvern roared back as it landed on him, its huge claw pinning him down before he could bring himself back to his feet.

If he could just position Siegfried right, he might be able to get himself free-

“ _Xander!”_

He tipped his head back enough to see Camilla standing there, her arms crossed and hip cocked, looking both frustrated and disappointed. Xander scowled right back, but the sudden realization of what had just happened doused the fire in him more quickly than Felicia could have with her ice magic.

He slumped against the ground and screwed his eyes shut. His eyes stung, and he couldn’t hold his tears back, but that was okay – Camilla was the only one he ever allowed to see him cry, and she was the only one here.

“She’s – she’s _gone_ , Camilla,” he told her. His voice was low, thick and broken. He swallowed against the lump that had formed in his throat. “Someone got her, dragged her away. Look.”

He struggled to unpin his arm from where it was trapped.

“Marzia,” Camilla cooed, and the wyvern almost mewled. It lifted its claw and hopped a short ways away, rustling its wings. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

Xander sat up and pulled off one of his gloves so he could dry his face. When he opened his eyes again, Camilla was standing in front of him, a hand extended in an offer to help him up. He took it, and once he was standing, handed her the hair pin he’d found.

“I stepped on it. I don’t think I would have found it otherwise,” he explained as he bent to pick his sword up off the ground. He sheathed it and then pointed. “And then, there: the dust was cleared, about the right size for her body, plus footprints and a pair of solid lines, like she’d been dragged and her heels were still on the ground.”

“You’re certain?”

Xander nodded. “Absolutely. I think Marzia disturbed it when she landed, but I know what I saw.”

Camilla nodded to him. “Xander, dear, I know what you’re thinking, and-”

Anger started to rise in him again. “They took her! My little princess!” His hands flew to the sides of his head, and he spun away from her, screwing his eyes shut again. “You expect me not to act?”

“Not at all,” Camilla answered him before he could keep going. “You think you’re the only one upset about this? She is a sister to all of us, not only to you. Xander, you are the crown prince, and the rock in our family. We all need you to be strong for us, especially now. Leo and Elise won’t know what to do if we can’t keep ourselves under control. I’m not saying we do nothing – I’m simply saying me must be cautious about what we’re doing, that’s all.”

Xander sighed. “You’re right, of course,” he finally admitted after a short pause. His shoulders slumped in defeat, he dropped his hands back to his sides and turned to face Camilla. “We should return to Father, inform him of what’s happened. We can act from there.”

“Now there’s a plan that makes sense.” She closed the distance between them and put her hands on his shoulders. “We _will_ find her. Don’t you worry your pretty head about that. And I promise you that the people who took her from us will learn the meaning of pain.”

Xander nodded. “On that, I think we can agree.”


	2. Chapter 2

Xander had never known relief like seeing her emerge onto the plains of Hoshido that day.

The night after they’d discovered that Natalie had been taken, they slept in their camp. There was no point in riding out further. Everyone that had been with them was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Hans had already slipped away by the time they returned –lucky for him, or else Xander would have personally killed him. The following morning, word from their father had arrived: they were to proceed to Hoshido. Apparently it was time to show the enemy their strength, and time for Xander to prove his skills. It was the first time in a long time that Xander had actually agreed to an order his father had given, even if his reasons were his own.

And so, here he was. He had ridden ahead that morning, leaving the others behind; he was too anxious to find Natalie. The crown prince of Hoshido had already taken the field, with Natalie at his side. The rest of the family was hanging back.

She approached him alone.

“Natalie! You’re alive! They haven’t harmed you, have they?”

Her eyes lit up, and it took everything in him not to hop off his horse and sweep her up into a great big hug right then and there. “Xander! I’m fine.” Her bright look changed quickly to a concerned frown. “Um – why are you invading Hoshido?”

_To bring you home and to my side again, little princess, where you belong._ “Father says it’s time to show our true strength. Join us, and we’ll end this quickly. If we conquer Hoshido here and now, we can avoid unnecessary bloodshed.”

He expected her to leap to his side immediately; instead, her frown deepened. “Xander, I… I need a minute.”

His stomach dropped.

“Be careful, Natalie! That man is a Nohrian commander!” The Hoshidan High Prince had caught up to her. Xander watched as she turned to look at him slowly, the conflict on her features painting ever deeper.

The sound of beating wings and galloping hooves announced the arrival of his other siblings, but he refused to take his eyes off the swordsman who had stopped at Natalie’s side.

“Natalie! I was so worried about you. Don’t you ever run away from me again!” The threat sounded odd in Camilla’s silk tones.

Leo must have thought the same; somehow he managed a chuckle. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Natalie – you must have the devil’s own luck!”

“ _Yay_! We got our sister back!”

“Nohrian scum!” The shout came from behind the enemy prince, and the lone Pegasus in the line-up ruffled its wing feathers. “First you kidnap her, now you lie to her?! Natalie is _my_ sister, not yours!”

“You are mistaken,” Camilla countered, her voice colder than ice. “She is my sweet little sister, and you may _not_ have her.”

“Don’t be fooled by their words,” the High Prince tried to tell her. Xander was quickly losing his patience. “You belong with your true family, in Hoshido.”

“We have loved you and raised you since you were a child,” Xander reminded her. Her eyes immediately sought his; he could see how much this was paining her, but he couldn’t let her go this easily. She was his little princess, after all, and at this point, he was not above begging. “Come _home_ , little princess. We can live as a family once more!”

“Come back to Hoshido, Natalie!”

What little patience Xander had was gone. “No! Natalie, Nohr is your home.”

Natalie stepped back from them both, looking torn and confused. Xander hadn’t seen her look so meek since she had first been brought to them.

“This way!” The Hoshidan High Prince called, holding his hand out to her.

Xander’s horse pranced in place; all the tension was winding her up. It didn’t help that the other Hoshidan royals were rushing to the High Prince’s side.

“B-big sister?” the youngest one called out. Xander watched as Natalie’s frown deepened. Apparently she’d already come to be close to them, especially the young one. It shouldn’t have been a surprise to him, given how well she got along with Elise.

“She’s _my_ sister!” Elise yelled back, right on cue.

She turned to look at them all, and then, finally, back to him. To his guidance, just as she always had. “We’re your family,” he told her simply, holding his hand out in a mimic of the Hoshidan High Prince’s gesture.

Her eyes squeezed shut, and he held his breath as he waited for them to open again. When they finally did, they looked at him first – he didn’t know whether it was a good thing or not.

She took in a deep breath, and then turned to look at the Hoshidan family. “I know what I must do,” she declared solemnly. Her hand rested on the pommel of her new sword. “Ryoma… withdraw your troops.”

It took everything in Xander not to collapse in relief.

The High Prince, Ryoma, had the audacity to look betrayed. “You don’t mean that, Natalie. You cannot possibly!”

Xander spurred his horse forward until he was standing directly at Natalie’s side.

“I’m sorry, Ryoma, but I will not fight for Hoshido.” Xander knew her too well, could hear the depth of the pain in her voice.

“How can you say that?! Open your eyes! Can you not see how vile these Nohrians are?” Ryoma advanced a few steps in his rage, and both Xander and Natalie shifted their stances. “They’re hateful fiends who wish to trample Hoshido! They killed our mother!”

“It’s not that simple,” Natalie answered back. There was no more hesitation in her tone. She drew her sword in preparation for the inevitable. “I know what Nohr has done to Hoshido is unforgiveable. And I know now that these are not my brothers and sisters by birth. Yet, even still, I must side with them. My heart won’t allow me to do otherwise.”

“How can you fight alongside these monsters after what they did?! Now that you know their sins, how can you possibly justify joining them? You are a princess of Hoshido. You are my _sister._ They are to blame for you not growing up with us as you were meant to! Do you really, _truly_ mean to fight for those who stole you away?”

There was silence for about ten seconds. “Ryoma… my sorrow is beyond words,” she started. “But these are not the people who stole me – they are the only family I have known, and I will not abandon them.”

“You did the right thing,” Xander reminded her, before Ryoma’s words could sway her. “As you now know, you don’t share the same bloodline as the rest of us. But it matters not. We have regarded you as family since we first laid eyes on you. I… cannot express what it means to me that you’ve chosen to return to us. I’m sure Father will be pleased with your decision, as well.”

“Are you certain of that, Prince Xander?” His name was like poison on Ryoma’s tongue, the way he spat it out. “Surely you must know of King Garon’s attempt to murder Natalie!”

Anger welled in him; he took a few quick, deep breaths to calm himself. “Explain yourself. Swiftly.”

Ryoma _harrumphed_ at him. “There was an attack in our capital’s square. The explosion came from Natalie’s sword. If my mother hadn’t sacrificed herself, Natalie would be dead now. If King Garon truly cares, then why would he risk her life just to hurt Hoshido?”

Xander’s head was spinning. “Is this true, Natalie?”

She paused. “It is,” she answered him finally. “But I still need to hear Father’s side of the story. That’s why I must return home, right away. I must know the truth of this tragedy.”

Xander didn’t take long deliberating on how much truth there was to the story. He knew he would get it out of Natalie after they were through with the battle in more detail, but even he couldn’t deny that it sounded precisely like the sort of thing his father might do. His father had never _truly_ considered Natalie as one of his own. Xander was still being reprimanded for referring to her as one of the siblings when she wasn’t present…

“I’m afraid that is not an option,” Ryoma interjected.

Xander’s spinning thoughts scattered. Only one thing mattered, and that was keeping his little princess safe.

But Ryoma was too fast; he had blinked, and already Natalie had somehow fended off the attack by herself. “Everyone! Attack Natalie!” Ryoma shouted, before addressing Natalie more personally. “I will not allow you to return to Nohr until we’ve settled this on the battlefield.

“Ryoma, please – don’t do this!”

“If you are looking for forgiveness, you will find none here.” Ryoma’s words were clipped, final. He seemed to be done with arguing. He settled back into an offensive stance once more. “So you wish to side with Nohr? Then you must first defeat your true brother. It is your birthright to fight at my side. I cannot forgive the choice you’ve made. How _dare_ you use the sacred blade Yato against your own kingdom! Perhaps it is a blessing Mother isn’t here to witness your betrayal.”

Ryoma lunged again, but Xander was ready for it this time; he managed to block the first attack coming for Natalie, but she caught a second herself. He took the opportunity while Ryoma set himself up again to get in an attack of his own. He didn’t expect to really do anything more than distract him, but it seemed to work.

“Stand down, Prince of Hoshido. I will not allow you to cause any further harm to Natalie.” _My little princess…_

“Order me around once more, and Nohr shall lose a prince as well today.” Ryoma’s face was twisted into an ugly snarl. “I will do what I must in order to awaken my sister from the spell that binds her. You vile Nohrians have brainwashed her, and I will not rest until she is free!”

“More false accusations. You know very well she chose this of her own free will. No matter the blood that courses through her veins, we are her true family. That will _never_ change.”

The battle was rough. He hated to admit it, but Ryoma had the upper hand. He sent Natalie back with the others, and did all he could to hold the other Prince off until Ryoma called his retreat.

She cried that night, after the battle was won and they were safely back at their camp. He had never seen more tears run down her face before, not even when Silas was sent away when she was seven. He had hoped to get the full story of her time away from her, but he knew better than to push her when she was so upset.

He sat with her in silence, rocking her and rubbing circles into her back, smoothing her hair, until finally her tears ran dry in her exhaustion. He put her on her bed and brushed her hair off her face. Despite her distress, he couldn’t help but be happy.

_I’m so glad you’re home again, little princess. I promise you, nothing shall harm you for as long as I draw breath._

He hadn’t even been able to find Camilla to help her get properly ready for bed before he was running back, the first of her nightmares making her wake screaming.

 

*                             *                             *

 

It wasn’t often that Xander was openly angry, but when he was, the staff at Castle Krakenburg feared him more than King Garon.

And Xander was angry today. Oh, he was _livid_. He didn’t see the servants who leapt out of his way, fleeing down corridors and hiding in closets at his approach. He had never, not once in his life, taken out his anger on them, but they had learned well from his father to steer well clear of the royals when they weren’t happy.

He hadn’t wanted to believe it, but it was true: his father saw Natalie only as a pawn, had known she would be taken to Hoshido, had used her as an expendable resource. He had called her a traitor still – did he think she’d gone of her own free will? Had this truly been his plan since she had been brought here as a child?

Of course it had. How could it not have been? That was exactly the kind of person his father was, now. So be it; if his father insisted on torturing and abusing her, then he was making it his personal mission to counter him however he could.

No one was allowed to get away with wishing harm on his little princess. Not even his own father.

The gate out to the training fields and barracks opened with a _clank_ and a _groan_ of unoiled hinges. Xander slammed it shut behind him and marched squarely across the field toward the stables.

“You there, knight – I’m looking for someone. Can you help me?”

“Of course, Your Royal Highness!” The knight in question spun instantly on his heel and saluted, barely keeping his grin in check.

_What spectacular luck I have today._ “Nevermind – I think I’ve found him.” Under different circumstances, he might have been able to return the smile. He stepped forward to shake the knight’s hand. “Relax, Silas. Are you alone in here?”

Silas returned his handshake, took in a deep breath, and turned back to his horse. “Just me and the mounts at the moment. Actually, I just stole in to give my girl the apple from my lunch. You’ve got good timing.” He stroked her snout slowly and looked back at Xander over his shoulder. “You look a little stormy. Is something wrong?”

“Yes, Silas, there is – but not for you. I think I’m about to make your childhood dream come true.”

There was silence for a moment. Silas’ expression hardened to match Xander’s. “Just tell me what to do.”

“Can you slip away without anyone seeing you?”

Silas nodded. “At night, I could, easily.”

“Good.” Xander leaned against the frame of the stable door. “The Ice Tribe is rebelling, and my father has sent Natalie off to curb it. Alone.”

Silas frowned even more deeply. “But… that’s no better than an execution.”

“I’m aware. Which is why I’m sending you after her.” Xander sighed deeply. “I’m going to send Elise with you. I’ll have her meet you up the road, with her retainers.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll catch up to Natalie easily if she left on foot.”

“She did.”

“Then we’ll find her. That I can promise.”

Xander nodded at the young knight. “Thank you, Silas. I’d go to her myself, if I could, but I think my absence might be a touch more noticeable than yours.”

“Just a bit,” Silas chuckled.

“I’ll feel better knowing you’ll be at her side. Take good care of her for me, and speak not a word of this to anyone. I will vouch for you if anyone tries to accuse you of deserting.”

“Thank you. Is there anything else? I don’t want to be rude, but I need to go prepare for the ride.”

“No, that will be all. Carry on, soldier.”

“Yes, sir.”

Xander prayed his thanks to the Gods for such a favourable meeting. He knew Silas would agree without hesitation. He’d become a knight just so he could see his old childhood friend again, and Xander would proudly tell you that it was _his_ suggestion. He’d kept close tabs on him through the years. They’d developed an odd sort of comraderie, and he was glad for it. He knew, without a doubt, that Silas would do everything in his power to keep Natalie safe and happy, and he could ask for nothing more.

When he returned to the castle, he flagged down the first person on the castle staff that he saw. It was much easier now – the fire in him had cooled a bit, knowing he would have someone dependable like Silas joining her.

He just needed to find one more person before he told Elise his plan.

“Yes, Prince Xander? What can I do for you?” The maid he’d hailed was an older woman, with lines around her eyes and tough-looking hands, but a gentle voice.

“There were three new staff members transferred here from the Northern Fortress recently – a pair of twin girls, and a gentleman with long, white-blonde hair. Do you know where they were stationed?”

“They were all sent to the guest wing, I believe,” the woman answered him slowly. “I saw them there once since they moved here, anyway. It’s a big castle, though, master, and we’re not all as familiar with it as you are.”

“Don’t worry yourself – it’s a start to finding them. Thank you. Can I help you carry that?”

“Oh, this? Don’t you worry about little old me! It’s not your job.”

“Please-”

“No, sir, I won’t hear it!”

He chuckled at her, and she smiled back. He bowed his head to her. “Thank you, miss.”

“You’re welcome, master. May I continue? Clothes don’t hang themselves to dry.”

“Of course.”

They went their separate ways, then. The guest wing wasn’t far from the entrance hall, so Xander made it there in a matter of minutes. He was looking for someone else to ask when he heard a loud crash followed by a shrill shriek in a nearby room.

He sprinted the short distance down the hall to the guest tearoom, where a young maid was bent over, picking the pieces of a silver tea set off the floor.

“At least silver can’t break like ceramic,” he heard her comment to herself, and he smiled sadly.

“Would you like a hand, Felicia?”

She screamed again and dropped the little cup that had been in her hand back on the floor. “Prince Xander! You startled me. I’m sorry I dropped it. But look, nothing’s broken this time!”

“I can see that. Don’t worry yourself overly about it. I just wanted to ask you about Jakob’s whereabouts. I need to speak with him.”

The embarrassed flush drained from her cheeks, and her eyes went wide with fear. “J-Jakob? I haven’t – haven’t seen him since we were moved here.” She bent to pick another piece of the tea set up off the ground, and fumbled it in her shaking hands. “I wouldn’t know where-”

“Felicia.”

“Yes, Prince Xander?”

“Answer me this: has he already taken off after Natalie?”

She stood up straight and looked him in the eye. “Please, Prince Xander, I tried to tell him it was a bad idea to go against King Garon’s order, but he wouldn’t listen. He was so worried – we all are – but he’s always been more defiant than I have, and I don’t know how he expected me to cover his absence for him-”

Her words came out at a mile a minute. Xander couldn’t help but chuckle again as he placed a hand on her shoulder. She stopped talking to look at it there. “Peace, Felicia. I came looking so that I could send him after her, anyway. I’m glad to hear that he beat me to it.”

“You – you are? Oh, what a relief.” He could feel her relax under his palm, and took his hand back. “To think that I might have blown his cover within an hour of him leaving!”

“I need to go find Elise – will you be okay here, or would you like a hand cleaning up?”

“I’ve got it all under control, Prince Xander. Don’t you worry about me!”

“One last thing, before I go.” He waited until she looked him in the eye again before continuing. “If anyone else notices his absence, you are to tell them that I sent him out after her. That is an order. Non-negotiable. Understand?”

“But, Prince-”

“I will hear no arguments on the contrary.”

She paused for a few seconds. “Yes, Prince Xander. Thank you.”

He nodded, sparing her just a brief smile before leaving her alone to finish collecting the pieces of the tea set off the floor. His anger had cooled, finally, leaving him with a white-hot coal of anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

_Relax, Xander. She won’t be alone for much longer._

He squared his shoulders and straightened his back before emerging into the main walks of the castle again.

No one needed to know what he had done.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That series of events where you choose your path is honestly so. ridiculously. long. 
> 
> I was afraid it was never going to end, but didn't know where the best point to cut things off would be. I promise the rest of the canon dialogue I've included won't feel quite so heavy-handed.


	3. Chapter 3

“Smile, dear! It’s not so bad out here, is it?”

Xander huffed out an aggravated sigh at Camilla’s teasing. “Under different circumstances – no, it wouldn’t be. I can appreciate the reason _you_ were sent here, but my role makes no sense outside of it being punishment for sending Natalie help with the Ice Tribe.”

“Naturally. But building our army _is_ still important.”

“I know it is. I just…I have a bad feeling about this trip into Notre Sagesse-”

“You _always_ have a bad feeling about _anything_ Natalie does where you can’t watch over her yourself, dear. You can’t coddle her forever. She’s more capable than you make her seem.”

Xander’s ever-present scowl deepened. “I know,” he admitted quietly.

They stood in silence for another few minutes, looking out over the soldiers they were working with. The wyvern division needed beefing up, and their Father had sent the three of them – Xander, Camilla, and Leo – out to train them.

Camilla was one of the best wyvern wranglers in Nohr, and Leo was a spectacular mage, even if he was a less-than-spectacular flier. Some of the soldiers they were training would end up in the same class as Camilla, so Leo would be working with them on their casting skills, while Xander was expected to teach them grounded combat in case their mounts were taken out before they were.

Xander was a passable flier, he just preferred horses to wyverns, and keeping his feet firmly on the ground. He had a wyvern mount of his own, named Heracles, though he was rather fat and lazy these days from inactivity. Xander almost envied him.

“They’re doing quite well, don’t you think?” Xander asked Camilla.

“They most certainly are, darling. At this point, if someone gets eaten, it’s their own fault.”

Xander almost smiled as the gears started shifting in his head. “Quite.”

He was about to suggest they get on with training when he heard the sound of gravel crunching under a boot behind him. He turned around to see what it was at the same time as his sister, and they watched as Leo walked down the path. He had his Brynhildr tucked carefully under one arm, while his other hand held a pendant attached to a long chain. He appeared to be having a one-sided conversation with it.

“… keep me updated, and have Niles check in with his people for me, as well. I want to make sure we have every advantage possible.” Leo looked up at them pointedly as he paused for a moment. “Dismissed.”

“Are you alright, dear?”

Leo frowned at Camilla, not answering her until he reached them. “Of course I am.”

“Then why were you having a conversation with your necklace?”

Leo huffed an irritated sigh. “It’s just something I invented to make keeping in touch with my retainers over distances a little easier. I gave the matching one to Odin so that he could keep me updated on how their campaign is going.”

“Oh, darling, that’s so _smart!_ ” Camilla pulled him into a hug, which he resisted futilely. His face was in danger of being squished into Camilla’s chest. “Just wait until everyone hears about this. It could change everything!”

“Camilla!” Leo protested. She finally let him go, and he pushed off of her, putting distance between them. His face was burning red. “I want _no one_ to know of this. I chose an inconspicuous item so no one would think it suspect to have. If everyone knew and had one, it would be useless.”

“What did you learn?” Xander asked before either of them could get anything more out.

Leo pulled at the collar of his armour until he had space enough to drop his pendant back inside. “Odin says that they’re almost to Port Dia, where they’ll catch a ferry across to Notre Sagesse. He estimates another day of travel, two at the absolute most.”

“Are you _sure_ , dear? That was awfully quick of them.”

“I know. When I saw them last, Odin was trying to explain something to me about a… a castle? In an… oh, he had a name for it.” He sighed again. “You know how Odin is. I couldn’t make any sense of it, even with Niles there to help explain. All I remember was something about a mention of time running differently. If they’re resting somehow in a different dimension…”

“That would explain how they made their mark so quickly,” Xander finished for him.

Leo nodded. “I have seen mention in many texts about such places, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. Anyway, I worry about what will happen to them on the way. Odin told me he has a bad feeling, and I have to agree. I’d feel much better if one of us was with them.”

“Me, too, darling, but we can’t abandon our task here.”

“Not all of us, that much is certain,” Xander agreed, “but perhaps _one_ of us could.”

Camilla met his eye, but Leo fully turned to face him. “Brother?”

“I think we can handle the rest of the training, can’t we, Leo? I can give them flying exercises and do their combat training, and you can focus on care and casting.”

“I think that will work.”

“I’m surprised you wouldn’t go after her yourself, dear,” Camilla commented.

Xander sighed and turned away from them both. “I would love nothing more than to ride out myself and add my strength to hers, but you are the one who will be able to catch up to her the fastest. Strategically, it only makes sense. Am I right, Leo?”

“Absolutely,” Leo agreed. “Provided Marzia or Beruka’s wyvern can carry Selena as well, you can fly straight to Dia, whereas Xander and I would have to rely on roads, which would set us back.”

“Are you sure about this? You’re in enough trouble with Father as it is, Xander.”

“If I end up in more, then so be it.” He looked over his shoulder at her. “I heard him raving myself about making her suffer. Gods only know why. He is using her as an elite force against the Hoshidans – our Natalie, who he kept locked away her entire life, who has never seen the world before, now only gets to glimpse it through the lens of war. He wants her broken by the end of it all, and I won’t allow it.”

Sombre silence fell over the three of them. When Camilla broke it about a minute later, her voice was hushed but hard. “Her enemies will know the meaning of pain, darling. I promised you this once already, but I will promise it again.”

“Thank you, Camilla.”

She nodded at him, placed a hand on Leo’s shoulder for a moment, and then left them, her boots crunching in the gravel just like Leo’s had.

Neither Leo nor Xander said anything until the sounds of her footfalls had disappeared entirely.

“Well, then – shall we get to it?”

Leo squared his shoulders and nodded slowly, and Xander took one last deep, steadying breath before leading the way down into the training yard.

 

*                             *                             *

 

“Where is your sister?” Garon asked angrily.

Xander and Leo stood before him – or rather an illusion of him. Iago had done something so that they could speak with him without him having to actually travel out to meet them. Xander didn’t pretend to understand how the magic worked. He felt that Leo’s way of going about things was much more intelligent. This was too… flashy.

“Her wyvern is ill,” Xander lied easily. “She’s been up all night with her, trying to figure out what’s wrong. Camilla was concerned that she might die without constant care, and you know she trusts no one else with her wyvern. She asked that I apologize for her absence.”

Garon _harrumphed_. Even he couldn’t argue when their charges needed such care. “How is the company coming?”

“I believe that they are ready for active duty, Father.” _That_ , at least, was the truth. They’d found themselves a talented group of soldiers here. Xander only hoped that they would last.

“Good. One of you will be accompanying them to their first battle immediately. The other two will be joining me in Cyrkensia. I require additional eyes against any possible threats. When both of these tasks are complete, you will rendezvous with Natalie’s army. She will be fighting her way into Hoshido soon enough, and I expect you to ensure this task is successful. No matter what it takes. I will not be satisfied until I am seated on their throne.”

There was no question in Xander’s mind about who would be doing what. “Yes, Father. Where am I taking our soldiers?”

“The Bottomless Canyon, but south, by the shore. We have reports that the Hoshidans are amassing there. We have knights and foot soldiers in place, but you are to be their reinforcements. The Hoshidans stand no chance against our wyverns. I want them dead. All of them.”

Xander decided to keep his mouth shut regarding how poorly they traditionally did against the Hoshidan fliers, and prayed silently to the Gods that there wouldn’t be any. His hopes weren’t high. “As you say, Father.”

“That means I will be meeting you in Cyrkensia, Leo. Make sure Camilla knows she’s expected to join you. Be swift. I do not like to be kept waiting.”

“Yes, Father.”

Garon – or rather his image – disappeared in a blink then, without even so much as a goodbye. Xander and Leo stayed frozen in place for a count of ten before finally heaving a relieved sigh in tandem.

“Well, that went better than expected,” Leo commented as he turned around to look around the little conference room.

Xander nodded and made his way to the door, holding it open for Leo, who followed him. “It seems that we’ll be parting ways here, Leo.”

“I’m surprised you wouldn’t send me to the Bottomless Canyon. From Odin’s reports, Natalie’s army is also on their way to Cyrkensia. It would allow you to regroup with her more quickly.”

Xander shook his head. “I plan to fly with our men and women. I believe it was expected,” he explained.

There was a pause from Leo. Even just the thought of flying had him looking pallid. “Ah. I… thank you, then.”

“Guarding Father isn’t exactly doing you a favour, but at least you can keep your feet squarely on the ground.” There was silence between them for a moment. “Do you think you could take my horse, Leo?”

“I should be able to manage.”

“Excellent. _I_ should be able to catch you all faster if I can just fly and then send Heracles home again. Has there been any further news from Odin?”

Leo nodded. “He reported that Laslow and Peri arrived – in the nick of time, apparently. Elise had fallen ill. He seemed to be especially upset by it.”

Xander’s frown deepened. “Is she alright?”

“They were able to get her aid at Palace Macarath, but not before a skirmish with Ryoma. As I understand it, Laslow personally saved Natalie’s life, and the both of them were imperative to ending the battle in time to save Elise’s.”

“Well, that’s a relief. I’ll have to remember to thank them for their hard work.” It had been lonely without their constant presence, but he knew they had a better use than sitting around doting on him all day. He’d sent them out shortly after Camilla.

The two of them walked the rest of the way to the small stable in silence. It took them little time to get their horses squared.

“Now, Roxana, you’re going to be going with Leo,” Xander murmured as he rubbed a palm up and down her snout slowly. “Be a good girl and follow his lead. I’ll be back for you soon.”

“She’ll be fine with me,” Leo promised from behind him.

Xander nodded absently as he handed Leo the reins, and followed them out of the stable. He waited while Leo tied Roxana to his own horse and hopped up into his saddle.

“Safe travels, and fight well,” Leo told him once he was settled.

“You as well. Before you go, Leo, may I ask for one more favour? It’s a small one – I hope.”

“Whatever you need, brother.”

Xander nodded. “Just… keep an eye on Laslow for me.”

Leo chuckled. “Are you worried about something?”

“As far as fighting honourably, keeping himself and my li – _Natalie_ alive, and representing me respectfully, I have absolutely no concerns. But do I trust him not to try every trick in his book to get Natalie’s armour on the floor at the end of the day? Not a chance.”

The truth, really, was that his stomach turned every time he thought about her falling in love with someone – with _anyone_ , really. He’d thought of all the possibilities, and none of them sat well with him. Not even _Silas_. Was it his business, truly, if she were to? And nothing was to say that Laslow would treat her badly. On the contrary, he truly believed that Laslow would be a good husband to a very lucky lady one day if he ever did decide to put his ways behind him and settle down.

Just…not with his little princess. Not if he could help it.

Leo laughed boldly. “I’ll see to it that he’s kept in line,” he promised, “though, with Odin and Selena there, I think he’ll be behaving himself. They’ve always been good at keeping each other in check, all three of them. Actually – here. I made a third one and gave it to Laslow so that he could coordinate with Odin, so you can have this one. I’ll take Laslow’s from him when I meet them.”

Leo pulled his long necklace out from under his chestplate and dropped it in a pool of silver in Xander’s palm. He closed his hand around it.

“All it takes is a little touch of magic – even you should be talented enough to activate it, brother,” Leo teased, and Xander grinned at him. “I’ll let you know what I can, when I can.”

“Thank you, Leo.”

Leo nodded. “I’ll see you soon.”

Xander watched him trot away before opening his palm again. The silver chain was almost obnoxiously long; he immediately unclasped it to see if he could double it up through the pendant so that it would hang at a slightly more natural length. He’d never actually seen the pendant itself before, and was breathless for a moment as he examined it. It was a simple polished geode of ruby held in a fine silver cage, and he smiled as he fed the chain through the loop at the top a second time.

The necklace thankfully still slipped over his head easily, and he carefully tucked it down the front of his armour, just as Leo had. He smiled as he turned and made his way down the path to the wyvern enclosures, lost in his thoughts.

The ruby was a perfect reminder of the colour of her eyes, and he intended to study it until he saw it everywhere. Perhaps then he’d feel a little less lonely.

 

*                             *                             *

 

_“She’s speaking to Father and Iago. I don’t know what happened after we left the opera house last night, brother, but even from here, she looks exhausted. And…I think that’s Gunter with her.”_

Xander nodded, forgetting that Leo couldn’t see him. Leo’s mention of Gunter went straight over his head. “I’ll be there shortly. I just sent Heracles home and gathered Roxi from the stables.”

_“Good. I have to go – they’re done, and she’s headed straight for me. Dock number four.”_

“See you soon.” The faint glow disappeared from the gem at the end of his chain, and Xander tucked it carefully back into his armour with practiced ease. Natalie wasn’t the only one who was tired. They’d won their battle, barely, and he’d left as soon as it was over, not even giving poor Heracles a chance to rest. He had expected his tired wyvern to drop and refuse to keep going without a goat or two to eat and some time to sleep, but he seemed to know how important it was that Xander make it here as quickly as he did. He was sure a few farmers along the way might be short a cow before Heracles made it back to the capital.

Roxana snorted and shook her mane as he hopped up into his saddle. “I missed you too, girl. I’m not leaving you behind anymore, I promise,” he murmured as he leaned forward to stroke down her neck until she calmed. “Alright, let’s go – careful, now.”

He led her slowly and quietly through the streets of Cyrkensia, trying his hardest to draw as little attention as possible, while keeping a constant eye out for any familiar faces. He found not a single one on his short trip down to the docks.

He stopped once he got there in order to take in his surroundings. He could see them all, a few docks down. There was no way that the woman with dark-blue hair wasn’t Natalie, and that the man on the horse that she was talking to wasn’t Leo. He counted the docks, still, just to be sure before heading off to meet them.

Xander circled around until he could approach from Natalie’s back, carefully pulling his sword so that the ring of the blade against the scabbard wouldn’t alert her to his presence. Still, he noticed her back straighten. He knew her well enough to know that it was a subconscious response at this point.

He raised his sword hand so that he could put a finger to his lips, so that those who could see him knew that he wanted them to act normally, and then he continued to creep up on her. Roxana’s hoof caught a stone, sending it skittering down the walk, and he watched Natalie’s head turn a fraction as she tried to keep track of her surroundings while also listening to whatever Leo was saying to her.

An unusual feeling fluttered around Xander’s stomach as he approached her. He could barely take his eyes off of her, it seemed like it had been so long. Gods, but he had missed her. How had he not truly realized it before now?

“Natalie! Behind you!”

Xander grinned at Leo, who winked back at him the moment Natalie spun around. She was even quicker than Xander remembered, pulling her blade from her back and spinning around to block his attack with such a fluid grace, he almost missed the movement entirely.

His blade clanged off of hers, and he sat back in his saddle. His arm tingled from the shock of the impact. “Well done, Natalie! Your reflexes have vastly improved since last I surprise attacked you.” He sheathed his sword again with a wide smile.

Her expression lit up immediately, her face splitting into a wide, toothy smile. “Xander!”

He chuckled and hopped off of his horse. “Hello, little princess – _oof!_ ”

She collided with him, her own chestplate bouncing off of his as she launched herself at him, her sword still in hand. He took a couple of unsteady steps backwards, thrown off balance by her attack, and then hugged her back as if on instinct, another laugh rising from him. Had she always seemed so… small? Delicate? He knew that her frame was deceiving, but he’d never really noticed how… well, how truly feminine she was, he concluded.

Finally, she let him go, but he left a hand on her shoulder as he looked at her. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she looked a little pale – the result of a poor night’s sleep, or no sleep at all. He wondered if he looked much better. “I'm pleased to find you in good health and spirits. I heard the Rainbow Sage granted you new strength. Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Xander!” she answered him brightly. “But… sheesh, did you have to give me such a fright? We haven't seen each other in ages, yet the first thing you do is test my reflexes! I guess some people never change. By the way, what brings you here?”

She put her sword away once he took his hand back from its place on her shoulder. “I finally completed the mission Father tasked me with. It was… quite arduous.” An understatement, but he was sure she had enough to worry about right now without hearing the details of their skirmish at the border. “The first thing I did after reporting back was come after you. If you're to infiltrate Hoshido, I'm going with you. It's not negotiable.”

She stared at him silently for a few seconds before heaving a very relieved-sounding sigh. “Thank you,” she told him, her voice more reserved and intimate than her earlier excitement. The strange feeling in his stomach resurged in a wave. “Having you on my side is like having a thousand extra soldiers.”

“That is kind of you to say, if not a bit of an exaggera-”

“Lord Xander! It's great to see you again. We did our best to make you proud.” Laslow brushed his way past Natalie so he could bow in front of him, and then Peri appeared, shoving Laslow out of the way so that she could do the same.

“ _Milord!_ I missed you so much! I made sure to keep Lady Natalie safe even though she didn't let me kill things!”

Xander shook his head sadly, but couldn’t help but smile. “Well done, both of you. I am grateful for your efforts to protect my family.”

Laslow’s eyes went wide, and he leaned his head towards Peri, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. “Wow... Praise from the great Lord Xander. It's a little embarrassing!”

“Heehee, I'm an expert at making baddies suffer, so it was a piece of cake!” Peri smiled dangerously and shrugged.

A flash of pale blue hair in the crowd in front of him drew his attention – he didn’t even hear what Leo was saying. He was too busy focusing on the young woman that Camilla and Elise had dragged out (quite literally, in Elise’s case) with them.

Sound suddenly rushed back to him as she spoke. “ -sorry, I don't wish to intrude on your reunion-”

“Azura? Can it be... our kidnapped sister?” He stepped forward a few paces in awe.

“You remember me?”

“Of course. We were so upset when you were taken – I’m sorry to say that I’m sure we were the only ones. Father never liked us talking with you, but he also couldn’t deny you an education, which was the only reason we were all ever even allowed in the same room, but… I remember how cruel everyone was to you back then. There was so little I could do to shield you from it.”

“They were?” Natalie asked. He had forgotten that she had no memory of any of it, and wondered briefly if he should tell her about it all properly sometime.

“Azura is the child of Father's second wife, the late Queen Arete,” Xander explained. “When they married, many Nohrians were still distraught over my mother's death. Those who loved Queen Katerina were not happy about Queen Arete or her daughter. Camilla and I – and later, Leo – were told not to associate with Azura because of this, but she was still expected to join us all in our lessons at the Northern Fortress. I suppose Father wanted to protect the strength of his legacy or some nonsense. We always wished we could be closer with her, as siblings should be. I can't tell you how happy I am to have you here with us, Azura.”

Azura smiled at him – perhaps the first _real_ smile he’d ever seen on her face. “Xander... Thank you. Your words have touched me deeply. You are truly as kind as Natalie made you out to be – and as _I_ remember.”

“This is wonderful,” Natalie almost sang. “Now we can all be the big, happy family we were meant to be!”

“ _Yeah!_ Let's all go to Hoshido together! It will be an adventure!” Elise bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, until Camilla put a steadying hand on her shoulder.

“Elise, darling, we're not going to play. Make sure to behave yourself.”

“It’s true,” Leo agreed. “We should all mentally prepare ourselves for the battle looming ahead. Traipsing into enemy territory isn't going to be easy.”

“Worry not, Leo. No task is too great for the Nohrian royal siblings. Isn't that right, Natalie?”

Pride swelled in him at the fire he saw in her eyes. “Right. We'll find a way to win this war together. And I'll protect all of you. That's a promise.”

He wanted to take a moment to speak to Azura, but she had disappeared again already. _Shy as ever,_ he thought to himself. _I suppose some things_ don’t _ever change._ Their ship rang the bell loudly, signalling that it was time for them to board, and he stood instead at his horse’s side to watch everyone make their way down the dock. 

“I know I said it already, but I’m glad you’re with us, now.”

Natalie smiled up at him, her façade dropped now that those in her care weren’t able to see her. She looked haunted. He wondered what had really happened in his absence, and resolved to find out.

Later.

“As am I, little princess. You look tired.”

“Exhausted,” she agreed with a self-conscious chuckle. “I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

“Here.” He stepped back and held out a hand to her. She took it, and he helped her up onto his horse. “I know it’s not a long walk, but I think you’ve earned a little rest.”

She smiled down at him from his saddle, and he grabbed Roxana’s reins silently, guiding her carefully down the dock, trying to make sense of the confusing jumble of emotions he was feeling now that he was finally back at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naming Xander's horse and wyvern was fun, even if it was unnecessary. The idea of Leo being afraid of flying comes from the fact that he's the only Nohrian noble to not have the Wyvern Rider class set available to him without the need of an A+ or S support.


	4. Chapter 4

Natalie laughed quietly. “Even after all these years, you’re still the same Xander.”

Xander couldn’t help but smile at that. He’d only been back with her for a few days, and now that he was reunited with her once more, there was nothing that could take him from her side – both on the field and off.

Sometimes it couldn’t be helped, though. She’d caught him out in the training ground after a late watch on her way to her treehouse and her bed.

“Oh? How so?”

“Remember when I was little, and I'd get so lonely in the Northern Fortress? You'd always come stay with me until I got sleepy and then go train late into the night.”

“So, you knew about that?” Nevermind that he knew she knew. “How?”

Natalie shrugged at him nonchalantly. Her hair looked almost black at this time of night; he found himself wishing for a candle, or a fire, so he could properly see the blue. “I could see you from my window. After you left, I always watched you train for a bit. It's a little embarrassing, but I'd even try to imitate how you swung your sword.” He laughed with her as she pretended to do it again, right there in front of him. His style seemed so clunky and awkward when she pretended like that. “I thought if I matched your movements, maybe one day I could be as strong as you.”

This revelation was news to him. “I had no idea.”

“I was always afraid if I told you about it, you might train elsewhere.” She started to wring her hands, and looked down at them with a wistful but embarrassed smile. “Wow, thinking about all that is making me really nostalgic. Such great memories. You know... we've been so busy, we haven't had a chance to train together in a while. Um, if you're not too busy right now, maybe we could practice sword swinging like old times.”

He was about to deny her – he was almost done for the night, anyway – but when she looked up and met his eye again, he knew he couldn’t refuse her. “That's the best idea I've heard all day. But it can't be like old times. This time, you and I shall train side by side. No more lonely Northern Fortress for you.”

Her entire face lit up like a beacon in the night, her earlier sleepiness forgotten. “Great! I'll grab my blade! Don’t go anywhere – I’ll be right back!”

“Don’t worry, little princess, I’ll be right here when you return.”

He would always be right where she needed him to be.

 

*                             *                             *

 

It didn’t take long for their nightly sparring sessions to become routine again. Still, sometimes she seemed surprised to see him out so late.

Or, perhaps, she was just tired of watching from the sidelines.

“At it again, Xander? Don’t you ever sleep?”

It occurred to him rather suddenly that she no longer called him _big brother_. His name sounded both foreign and familiar on her tongue, somehow. The sound of it sent pleasant tingles down his spine. “If I train while my enemies are sleeping, I shall always have the advantage.”

“An excellent point,” she agreed. She had her training sword cocked on her shoulder. “Mind if I join you? I’ve been having a great time training with you so far.”

“I am always happy to have such a capable fighter aid me in my practice.”

She nodded and let her sword slide off her shoulder, balancing it at her side. They faced off for a few seconds in silence before she lunged at him.

She had grown so much since he had last trained with her, that day before they’d taken her to Castle Krakenburg. There was no more hesitation in her, and if he were being honest, she had truly started to present quite a challenge.

“Xander? Is something wrong?” She stepped back and relaxed her sword at her side, giving him a curious look. “Did I impose? I understand if you’d prefer to be alone right now.”

“Of course I wouldn’t,” he answered her immediately. “I was simply thinking about how much you’ve grown. Though, I have been troubled by what you said the other day, as well.”

She frowned at him in confusion. “What about it?”

Xander cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders. The thought had consumed him since she had mentioned it, flooding him with guilt at the most inopportune times. “Exactly how much sleep did you lose because of my training? I recall how difficult it was to get you up in the mornings. Am I to blame?”

She laughed and raised her sword again. “Not at all – that was just because I enjoy my sleep. Odin has taken to calling me ‘Sleepy Manakete’. I have no idea what it means, but it apparently gives both Laslow and Selena a laugh.” She lunged at him again, and she continued to speak as they sparred. “It's true I stayed up to watch, but it actually _helped_ me sleep. Some people need to hear the ocean waves to lull themselves to sleep... I need to hear your blade slicing through the night air. It's soothing. I know it sounds ridiculous, but watching you train always made me feel safe.”

Xander smiled as he went on the offensive, trying to push her back. Somehow, it worked – usually such a solid tactic would leave him vulnerable to her. “Truly? Well, if that’s the case I suppose I shall forgive us both.”

He struck out at her once more, but she spun out of the way, coming up between him and his blade and quickly raising the pommel of hers to his throat. He halted and stared down at her past his raised chin, so close, his heart hammering from more than the exertion of their fight.

She stared him squarely in the eye, up through her lashes. He was so focused on protecting her all the time that he sometimes forgot just how capable she was.

“Is there something else on your mind? You look troubled.”

_Troubled doesn’t begin to cover it, little princess…_ “Am I such an open book to you?”

She lowered her sword once more and stepped away, giving him space; it took everything in him not to snatch her back. What was wrong with him?

“You're swinging your sword so fiercely today, with a wild look in your eyes. It's the same look you always had on nights when you and Father would argue.”

The sight of her struggling, barely holding herself together after their last fight flashed before his eyes. He’d been having nightmares about her death, was jumping out of his skin every time he saw her facing down someone else – but could he admit that to her? “You're too clever for your own good, little princess. I have much on my mind, but I have no regrets about the decisions I've made. Like you, I am proceeding down the path I believe in, no matter the consequences.” He would follow her to the ends of the earth if she asked him to.

“Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have asked. It's just so nice to hear what's on your mind instead of wondering from afar,” she admitted, looking at her hand where it held her sword as she lifted it back up onto her shoulder.

He smiled and gently grasped her upper arm with his free hand. She met his eye again, and his heart jumped into his throat. Was he getting sick? He didn’t understand. The funny feeling in his stomach was back, stronger than ever, almost overwhelming. It was pleasant, when he thought about it. Why would it be a pleasant feeling? “Worry not, little princess. I have enjoyed our discourse as well. But the hour is getting late. We should rest for tomorrow’s endeavors while we can.”

She nodded, and then they walked off the practice field together. The least he could do was make sure she got home safely, right?

“You know what else I miss, Xander?”

“What’s that?”

“Teatime.”

He smiled widely at that. When _was_ the last time they were able to just sit down and enjoy a pot of tea together? She used to tell him all about the gossip at the Northern Fortress while single-handedly clearing the plate of all the sweets.

“Maybe tomorrow night, after dinner, I can have Jakob make us a pot?”

“After dinner is training time. Nothing is more important than training,” he reminded her. But she gave him a look, silently teasing but also somehow pleading, and he couldn’t deny her. “But… I suppose one must also rest every now and then.”

She beamed at him. “Great! I’ll let Jakob know. Do you want cookies, too?”

An idea popped into Xander’s head. “I’ll bring the snacks,” he promised her, and made a mental note to make sure he talked to Peri first thing in the morning.

“Sounds like a plan.” They paused at the foot of the spiral steps leading up to her treehouse. “Thanks for sparring with me.”

“I’m always glad to. Goodnight, little princess.”

She gave him a one-armed hug. “Goodnight, Xander.”

 

*                             *                             *

 

Xander balanced the box of tiny cakes on one palm as he knocked on her door.

“Come in!”

He pushed the door open and found her halfway across to room to meet him. He passed her the box, and she peeked inside. A giddy laugh bubbled in her throat as she turned around to set it on the table with their tea.

“They look _so good…_ ”

Xander couldn’t help but laugh, too. “I had Peri make them for us – I think she used some of the berries from the garden.”

Natalie didn’t even wait for him to sit down at that point. She lifted one carefully out of the box and bit into it. She chewed a few times, and then tipped her head back with a sound she reserved for only the most delicious of desserts – a raw, airy, throaty sort of sound. It had never affected him before, but hearing it now sent an odd jolt through him. He hurried to join her and settle into a seat.

“Gods, Xander, you need to find a new retainer – I need Peri as my personal baker.” She licked a little drop of icing from her top lip and put the rest of the cupcake in her mouth, using her hand to cover her face as she chewed.

He laughed rather heartily, which seemed to surprise her.

“What?” she asked.

“I’m just picturing the look on Peri’s face if I told her that she was demoted to kitchen duties,” he explained. “Imagine not being able to kill anyone anymore…Apparently slaughtering chickens just ‘isn’t the same’.”

“Well, you know, it might do her some good. She kind of scares me.”

“She’s good at what she does. You would be, too, if you had lived her life.” He grabbed the teapot and poured her cup for her. She smiled her thanks as he then filled his own. “Though she does seem to be coming around. I think being here has done her well.”

Natalie nodded as she dropped a lump of sugar into her cup and reached for the tiny milk dish. “So, Xander, tell me: what do you think?”

“Of what?” he asked her.

“Of… well, this whole thing, I guess. The war. The army. My leadership. All of it.”

He sat back in his seat and regarded her as he took a sip of his tea. She reached forward and stole another little cake; she got frosting on the underside of her nose as she bit into it, and quickly grabbed a napkin to wipe it away as colour flooded her cheeks.

“Things here are… _interesting_ ,” he settled on finally.

“Is that good or bad?”

“I’ve just never seen anything like it.” He grabbed a cupcake for himself. Natalie hadn’t been exaggerating; they were delectable. Not too sweet, delicate yet firm enough to hold together, with that delicious creamy icing and bursts of berries. He finished it off before continuing. “You are a natural leader, however I do sometimes worry about your tendency to trust everyone you meet. Taking someone at face value like you did with Shura may cost you heavily one day.” He paused only briefly enough to lick some crumbs off of one of his fingers. “And having the use of this astral realm certainly explains how you get around so quickly. Do you often take such long breaks in between missions?”

“That depends on the situation. Sometimes, we end up having to spend a few months here if someone imperative is incapacitated,” she explained. “And of course, war is the perfect place and time for love, or so it seems. People are getting married left and right! I’m starting to think people are doing it just because everyone else is. Most of our hold-ups are for childbirth.”

“That is especially fascinating. I couldn’t believe it, meeting Ophelia for the first time. I have a niece now who’s almost the same age as Elise?”

“Time works in strange ways here, and in the Deeprealms.”

“So it seems.” Another sip from his tea. His hand shook slightly as he placed it back down on the tabletop. An uncomfortable thought crept up on him, and he spoke without quite thinking. “What about you, little princess? Having any romantic thoughts of your own?”

He meant it to be teasing, but she seemed especially flustered. Colour flooded her face once more, and she shifted in her seat. “That’s oddly forward of you, Xander. Did Camilla put you up to this?”

“Not at all. I was simply curious. You’ve been somewhat withdrawn since I joined you. You’re too busy looking after everyone else, and haven’t had the time to have anyone truly looking after you.”

“There’s truth to that, too, I suppose. And for the record… no, there hasn’t been anyone.” Her expression had turned almost sad very quickly; she looked into the bottom of her teacup as she swirled it, not meeting his eye. “They aren’t the ones leading this army. They can afford to have a distraction to come home to. I don’t have that luxury, no matter how much I may wish it.”

Xander’s heart broke to hear her say such a thing. “On the contrary, little princess, I think that you, of all people, deserve it the most. _You_ are the one making all of the decisions. They are simply following orders. You don’t need to cut yourself off from matters of the heart simply because of your station. You might even find that it helps you face each day with more strength.”

She afforded him a small smile. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

He laughed loudly at that. “Yes, I suppose it is. You know me too well.” He took another cupcake and finished eating it before continuing. “Though I hate to admit that our stations are still not quite equal. I would be searching for a future Queen to help me rule a nation.”

A sudden image of her in one of his mother’s favourite outfits, wearing her crown, flashed across his mind. He focused on taking a sip of his tea to clear it.

Natalie nodded slowly at him, looking distant. “That is true. I suppose I shouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“Something tells me this isn’t the only thing bothering you.”

Her eyes focused again, meeting his with very sudden clarity. She gave him a small smile and settled back into her chair. “Who’s the open book now?” She was silent again for a moment as she collected her thoughts. “I suppose I’m feeling…a little displaced, and very confused. Before I was taken to Hoshido, I had no doubt in my mind that we were all a family, through and through. To learn that I wasn’t actually related to any of you was a shock, but… I don’t think I’m truly related to any of the Hoshidan royals, either. Except for Queen Mikoto, who I am positive was actually my mother, now.”

“You mean, you think you weren’t Sumeragi’s child, either?”

She shook her head. “Azura has made vague hints to such an effect, and it feels like the truth. I…I’m just very confused.”

“That certainly explains how oddly you’ve been acting with everyone,” Xander commented. “We thought it might have had to do with this revelation, but didn’t want to corner you. Do not doubt that we all love you as fiercely as ever, little princess.”

“Oh, Xander, I’m so sorry – I’m not saying that I don’t love you all anymore,” she assured him immediately. “I suppose I simply love you all a little differently now, is all.”

She met his eye again, and his breath caught in his throat for a moment. His voice seemed to betray him when he spoke. “That, I think I can understand.”

Silence passed between them for a minute or two. Natalie helped herself to yet another cupcake while Xander internally agonized over the sound of his own voice. Why had it come out like that? Lower and a little more rough than usual…had she noticed? She wasn’t looking at him properly. What was happening?

The image of her in his mother’s crown popped into his head again.

He watched as she drained the last of her tea from her cup, and gestured toward the pot as he cleared his throat quietly. _Gods, let me just speak normally again._ “More tea?”

“Thank you,” she answered him brightly, holding her cup out for more. He poured it carefully, and topped up his own cup as well while he was at it.

“Well, since we are being so candid this evening… did you mean what you said the other day, Natalie? That you’d prefer to hear what’s on my mind?”

“I meant it with all of my heart.”

He nodded. “I’ve been thinking about things, and I feel I owe you the courtesy of explaining a thing or two. You were right about me taking out my anger at Father during my training.” He looked down into his own cup, swirling it around as he thought on how to say what had been bothering him all day. “Sometimes being crown prince means following the king's order no matter what. But there were times when I felt his commands crossed a line. Sometimes it didn't feel like he was trying to benefit the kingdom at all, just himself. Having to do things I didn't believe in weighed heavily on my heart. Now I'm wise enough and brave enough to stand up to Father. But back then... Those were the nights you spoke of, when I swung my blade like a wild beast.”

He looked back up at her to find her frowning at him with concern. “Xander…”

He huffed a silent laugh out through his nose. “I never thought I'd tell you that. I always tried to shield you from such things. A sword is a strange and beautiful thing... Sometimes just one swing of your blade can communicate more than a lifetime of words. I suppose, I just want to say… Thank you for listening, little princess. Both to my blade back then and my words now.”

“I didn't do anything but listen. And pry.”

That brought out a fuller chuckle. “You did more than you know. It's thanks to you that... that I don't feel quite so alone anymore.”

There was something especially private about the smile she gave him. He’d never seen it like that before, and he found himself hoping he would see it more often. “It means the world to me to hear you say that. You saved me from my own loneliness when I was a child, locked away from the world... I'm so happy to finally repay the favor. It was always my dearest wish to do so. If you ever feel like talking, about anything, I'm always here for you.”

“I’d hate for you to lose sleep over my troubles-”

He was cut off by a loud, honest laugh. “I've been losing sleep over you for years now, Xander. It's my favorite tradition.”

He couldn’t help but laugh a little with her. “So be it. But for now, little princess, I think I’ll leave you in peace.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to go yet.” She sounded more disappointed than usual. Or was he just imagining it? Perhaps even hoping for it?

Nothing was making much sense anymore.

“I have some things I need to take care of before I retire for the night, still,” he told her as he got to his feet again.

“Alright. Have a good night, Xander. I’m glad we were able to relax for a short while.”

“As am I.” He walked slowly to the door in silence, and she walked with him, her hands clasped behind her back. He didn’t look at her again until he’d turned the handle and opened the door. “Goodnight, little princess.”

She smiled and looked up at him through her lashes. “Goodnight, Xander.”

He stepped back out into the night air. She held the door for him, and he began to descend her steps, one at a time, careful of his footing now that it was dark out. He hadn’t been entirely honest with her, but he’d needed to escape, and quickly. He hoped the fresh air would help clear all the confusing thoughts in his head. 

When he reached the bottom of the steps, he took a moment to draw in a deep breath. What was going on? What was _wrong_ with him? If he didn’t know any better, he’d think that he was-

_No. Do not even think it._

But how could he not? His feet carried him the short distance to the steps leading up to the castle walls, and he climbed without paying attention as he tried to sort out his thoughts.

_I suppose I simply love you all a little differently, now, is all._

_I don’t have the luxury, no matter how much I may wish it._

_That’s oddly forward of you, Xander. Did Camilla put you up to this?_

Perhaps he wasn’t the only one being dishonest, after all. Had she been defensive? It was hard to tell.

Perhaps _he_ should have a word with-

“Xander, dear? Are you alright?”

He blinked rapidly a few times in order to focus on his sister approaching him. “You are punctual as ever,” he commented dryly.

“Am I now?”

He nodded as he started walking again. She stopped to wait for him, and when he reached her, she followed closely at his side.

“I was just thinking that I might – I should have a word with you.”

“Was there any particular reason?”

“Yes, actually.” He slowed to a stop and leaned on his elbows against the wall cautiously, wondering how best to put his thoughts together. “I just returned from tea with Natalie, and she… she said some curious things.”

Camilla mimicked his stance and nodded slowly. “She has been acting oddly since she returned from Hoshido. Do you think they’ve done something awful to her?”

“No, nothing unnatural. She’s just confused, now that she knows the truth of her upbringing.”

“The poor dear. What did she say?”

“Well, that she – that she doesn’t love us the same way she did before.”

Camilla looked at him in silence for a few moments before turning back to look out over the courtyard again. “I would think that would make you happy, dear.”

“And just what is that supposed to mean?”

“You know full well what I mean, darling. You just haven’t admitted it to yourself yet.”

Xander threw her a scathing look. She raised her eyebrows at him in silent contest, and he finally backed down with a frustrated sigh. Now that he thought about it, the signs had been there for so long, he’d forgotten what they’d looked like. That image of her in his mother’s crown invaded his thoughts _again_. This time, he let it bounce around pleasantly while he spoke. “She was very defensive. I think. It started out with a comment about Elise, and Ophelia, and then she mentioned that she thought all this marriage business was a craze, and I just…came out and asked her if she was interested in anyone.” He frowned deeply and folded his hands together. “She immediately asked me if you had put me up to the questioning.”

Camilla chuckled. “Of course she did. That’s very unlike you.”

“She said the same thing.”

Silence fell between them for a few minutes, broken only by the hum of the night bugs. “What would happen, Camilla? If I – if I _did_ -”

“You worry too much,” Camilla teased. “You always said that you wanted one wife, a woman strong and moral enough to meet your standards and the standards of our people. I would say that your dear _little princess_ exceeds those standards, Xander. Would you not agree?”

He nodded absently.

“And you know, dear, she’s always been rather taken with you. I don’t think _that’s_ changed. I truly think you’ve loved her for years, now. She was such a constant presence to you. Not to mention that a marriage between you would be a strong political move. She’s not blood, but she _is_ royalty, which means you get lots of lovely heirs with pure royal blood and none of the ill effects of keeping things within the family.”

Xander pulled a face. “I don’t particularly care about _pure blood_ , Camilla. I just care that-” He sighed aggressively, standing up straight so that he could scrub at his eyes with the heels of his palms. “That she loves me, too, I suppose. But she was raised as family. Surely, despite her confusion, she still sees us as such?”

“I’m not so sure, Xander. Leo has been worried about her getting uncomfortable with him calling her sister, and she has stopped referring to any of us by such familial terms whatsoever. I even hear her now and then referring to Father as just ‘Garon’.”

“I don’t know…”

“Let me propose to you an idea, then,” Camilla suggested. She placed her hand gently on Xander’s upper arm, and he turned to look at her properly. “Stay close by her side. Watch her reactions to you closely. Protect her, but allow her to protect you. Above all, do not try to hide what you feel, Xander. Let her get a glimpse of it, and see where it takes you.”

He nodded again. “Thank you, Camilla.”

“Go try to sleep, dear. You need it.”

 

*                             *                             *

 

Xander paced his study restlessly.

The day had been long, and tough. They’d done battle against a hamlet of kitsune, and it had proven to be their trickiest fight yet.

The kitsune were _fast_. They were fascinating creatures, able to create shadows and conjure images at will. Had they not nearly killed Natalie, he might have held a greater appreciation for them.

He hadn’t been able to save her; one of them managed to sneak up behind them and take her out rather spectacularly. Jakob escorted her behind their line and patched her up the best he could, but she was in such rough shape, she needed actual bed rest. She almost bled to death.

He’d cut through them all mercilessly, then. There would be no forgiveness for what they’d done to her. When they all returned, she’d been taken up to her room and told to rest, but he refused to leave her side. No one contested his insistence that he be left alone with her.

Finally, Elise and Azura had returned with water, some herbs, and a healing staff. They requested that he leave so that they could work on her, so he told them to send word when they were done so that he might check in on her again.

It had taken around three hours for Azura to find him again.

“She’s fine, Xander. She’s just taking a little time to rest, and then she’ll be up on her feet again.”

“Thank the Gods. And you, Azura. Are you going back to her? Can you give her this when you go?”

“Of course.” She held out her hand, and Xander put a small folded piece of paper in it. She tucked it away in a hidden pocket and then bid him farewell.

He tried to focus on his work, but he simply couldn’t. He had almost lost her, for good this time. Even if she didn’t feel the same, he couldn’t let her die without at least telling her how he felt.

Besides, he had done as Camilla had suggested, and he was hopeful.

Elise came to visit him within the hour.

“Big broooooootheeeeer!”

Xander surged to his feet when she entered. “Elise! How is she?”

“She’s going to be just fine! She’s awake now, and she read your note. She wanted to come see you right away, but I told her that she _had_ to stay in bed until we brought her more water and some food. She lost a lot of blood.”

“I know she did. Thank you, Elise.”

“Well, I didn’t want her to die, either!” Elise reminded him. “What was on the note you gave her? She seemed really concerned, she wanted to come and see you right away.”

“It was nothing of-”

Elise gasped. “Was it a _love letter?!”_

Xander froze. “What? Where on earth would you get that idea?”

She scoffed at him. “Everyone’s been talking about it, silly! Crown Prince Xander falling in love with the Commander. It’s so _romantic!_ It’s true, isn’t it? Everyone will be so disappointed if it isn’t. _”_

Xander’s heart was hammering in his chest. He sank into his chair, a hand coming up to shield his face. Was he really so obvious? So readable? Had he truly doted on her so?

“It _is_ true!” Elise squealed. “Oh, wait until everyone finds out!”

“Elise, wait!” Xander looked up again, panic surging through him. “I haven’t even told her yet.”

“Oh. _Oh._ Well, don’t worry, big brother! Your secret’s safe with me!” She skipped around his desk and gave him a hug. “Does this mean Ophelia will have cousins?”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Elise-”

“You’re going to tell her soon, right? If I have to keep this a secret for too long, I’m going to explode!”

“Breathe, Elise,” Xander chuckled. “I plan to tell her as soon as she’s well enough to come see me, so the sooner you can get her food and water, the better.”

She let him go, then. “I’ll get them right away! Ooh, I can’t _wait!_ ”

Which was how he came to be pacing his office.

He’d been at it now for – Gods, he had no idea how long. The waiting felt like torture. The first thing he’d done was dig out the ring box from its hiding place in his desk drawer, tucking it safely in his pocket before he started to walk around. He tried looking at his bookshelves, searching for tomes he might need, only to flip through the pages agitatedly and stuff the book in question back onto the shelf. Finally he gave up, and simply walked, a hand in his pocket with the ring box, letting his mind race as he thought over the best way to get the air cleared.

By the time she joined him, he still had no idea how he was going to tell her.

“Xander? You wanted to see me?”

“Natalie!” He was across the room when she entered, but he rushed to her side and swept her up into a hug the moment he reached her. She was wearing a light, loose-fitting shirt and a pair of soft pants. The warmth of her against his hands where they rested on her back was the biggest comfort he could ask for right now. “I’m so sorry – I should have been keeping a closer eye on you.”

Her face leaned against his breastplate. Gods damn it, he should have changed into something a little less sturdy for this. “I’m fine, Xander. Just…tired. But I feel better now that I’ve had some food. I’m getting some energy back.”

“Good.” He looked down at her to find her looking up at him through her lashes. She was pale, but she had more colour than she had when he’d left her in Azura and Elise’s care. He realized then that something like this could be too much of a shock – could she pass out again? Should he maybe wait until tomorrow?

“Xander? Are you alright?”

He sighed and reached up absently to brush some of her hair behind her ear. She flushed red and looked away shyly, but she didn’t _pull_ away. A good sign.

“I was just…very worried about you. And very upset with myself. But you’re well again, on the mend, and…I wanted to talk to you.”

“Your note sounded urgent. Are you _sure_ you’re alright?”

He nodded and let her go, finally. “Are you up for a short walk along the walls? I need to get out of this office.”

“Gladly,” she agreed.

He held the door for her, giving his pocket one last pat-down while her back was turned to be absolutely sure that he had the ring with him before closing the door behind him. He offered her his arm for support, and she took it before taking a few steps.

He allowed her to set their pace; it was slow, almost painfully so, but he had her at his side and he knew that she was trying to conserve energy, so he didn’t complain. There was no conversation between them for the first couple of minutes, and Xander realized she was waiting for him to begin whatever it was he wanted to say to her.

“Let’s go down,” he suggested. She nodded her agreement, and he helped her take the stairs, giving her a moment to catch her breath again before leading her towards the dais and her throne.

“Natalie? What – what do you think of me?”

He looked down at her at his side. She was giving him a curious look, one that was hard to read. She seemed a little hesitant. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I know this is out of the blue, but I need to know. Please answer truthfully.”

She didn’t answer him right away – not until they were standing right in front of her throne. “If it means that much to you…” He nodded at her to continue. She took a deep breath. “Well, to me…you're someone that I admire. Someone strong and wise and noble. You're the rock of the family, someone we can all depend on and look up to. You taught me about courage and about the sword, as well as about right and wrong.” She managed a smile for him then – another of those smiles he was just getting to know, the ones that felt almost too private, like she reserved them just for him. “I was so sad when I first found out we aren't truly brother and sister... I was always so proud to be the little sister of the finest prince there ever was.”

He could feel himself frowning. That wasn’t precisely what he’d wanted to hear, but he had come too far now to back out. “Thank you. I am honored by your kind words. Though, to be honest, I feel the exact opposite in one respect.”

“Oh?”

“I am… overjoyed that we are not brother and sister.”

Pain streaked across her lovely features. “Y-you are? But why?! I guess I wasn't a very good sister...”

She looked down at her feet, but he needed to look her in the eye, that she might understand the truth in his words. He gently hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her gaze back to meet his. “Please don’t misunderstand me. I mean that in the best way possible,” he told her quietly.

“What way is that?”

He almost laughed. Oh, but she could be so blind, sometimes. “You said just now that I taught you about courage and about the sword. I taught you many other things, as well: drawing, dancing, reading, music. But... I wish to teach you about much more than that. One more thing in particular. That's why I have this for you.”

He dug into his pocket, and watched as her eyes got wider and wider – until he opened the little box.

The ring inside had been his mother’s, and his grandmother’s before that. It was an heirloom that always passed to the oldest prince in the family to give to the woman he would call his wife. It was a simple, ageless thing, made of gold with three square diamonds.

He stared at it for a few seconds, praying quickly for his mother’s blessing before turning it to show her, but she beat him to the punch. “Is that a r-ring?”

He met her eye once more and finally turned the box around so that she could see it. “Dearest Natalie, you are the most precious person in the world to me. Surely, you know this by now.” He could see her breath coming in shorter bursts, and sank to one knee in tandem with her hands coming up to cover her mouth in shock. Colour flooded her face again. He worried only briefly about her fainting. “Would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

There was a whole minute of agonizing silence. _Have I totally misread her? Gods, please, don’t let me fail._ “Your wife?!” she finally exclaimed, though her voice barely sounded above a whisper. “Xander, are you sure? What will the others say?”

“Let them say what they will,” he answered her. _If Elise’s information is to be believed, there might even be a party._ “I was going to wait a little longer before I did this, but after what happened today, I couldn’t wait any longer. If you fell on the field again tomorrow, and I hadn’t told you how I feel…I couldn’t live with myself. I wish to protect you for the rest of my days. I don't see you as a sibling any longer, but as a woman... One who I adore. Please say you'll stay by my side, now and forever.”

“Xander...” Tears started to fall, but then her laughter rang off the stone wall behind her. “Of course I'll marry you. Gods, I'm so happy. I don't know what to say! But everyone will be so surprised. They may even object at first...”

Xander smiled widely, gesturing for her hand. She placed it carefully in his, and he pulled the ring out of the box, sliding it onto her fourth finger. It was a _little_ bit big, but he was sure he could have it corrected.

“In the end, I'm certain everyone will understand. After all, our marriage won't only benefit our future happiness... I believe it will also have a positive effect on our beloved kingdom,” he told her as he got to his feet again slowly.

“You're right, as ever. Besides, what matters most is that we'll finally be together.” She smiled again widely, which pushed a few more tears over the edge of her bottom eyelid. He wiped them away with his thumb, but left his palm against her cheek when he was done.

“I can't wait to spend my life with you, little princess. I have so much to tell you... You were cooped up so long, I wish to show you the whole world.”

He had leaned over just enough that her nose was only an inch or two from his own. She stared him in the eye as she wet her bottom lip with her tongue, and he couldn’t help himself. Before he knew it, he had claimed her lips with his own.

She surged up onto her toes to meet him, and he smiled against her before pulling away, breaking their kiss. They were out where everyone could see them, after all – he would save the more passionate ones for when they were alone, behind closed doors.

“I can’t wait. Thank you, Xander,” she answered him finally.

He kissed her briefly again, once more, twice, three times, before heaving a slow and contented sigh. “I love you, truly. I've been meaning to tell you for so long... You are my precious wife now. It is my honor and duty to keep you safe, at all costs.”

“Not your precious wife _yet_ ,” she reminded him, and he chuckled.

“I suppose I am getting a little carried away, aren’t I?” he agreed. “Well, little princess? Where to now?”

“I don’t care,” she answered him. “Anywhere, as long as it’s a little more private than _this._ ”

“Something on your mind?” he teased as he folded his hand with hers and guided her back towards her treehouse.

“A few things,” she admitted. “Xander?”

“Yes, little princess?”

She didn’t answer him until he looked at her again. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are always welcome :) <3


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